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Divorcee / Widowed. Why not marry again?
| Societal norms, customs and traditions still do not actively promote or encourage widow remarriage and divorcee remarriage, especially in the case of women. It is quite all right for male divorcees and widowers to remarry, revealing the deep-seated hypocrisy and chauvinism of male dominated society as a whole. |
| Why should divorcee women and widows be treated any differently than their male counterparts? Divorcee women and widows have little inclination or incentive to get married again due to society’s stigmatization and ostracism. Divorcees are erroneously viewed and distrusted because they are seen as someone who have not tried enough or compromised enough to make the previous marriage work. It is true that most women look upon marriages as once in a lifetime event and form deep bonds with their spouses that carry on in their memories even when they are not there. But these women must reconcile to the past, accept it, realize that it cannot be altered and prepare themselves for a new chapter in their lives. |
| Life’s journey is joyful and fulfilling when you have someone to love and support, someone to call your own, someone to share feelings with. Because one gets divorced or widowed, does it mean that these needs die in that person? No, of course not. |
| Remarriage can greatly contribute to an individual’s mental and emotional well being. It is important to be broad minded enough to realize that the divorcee may have been an innocent victim of circumstances or suffered gravely at the hands of the former spouse. It takes two to make a relationship work. So, all responsibility cannot be dumped on one person. A divorcee should not get cynical and stop believing in marriage because he/she has probably not yet met that one person who can complete his/her existence. A previous bad marriage does not make the entire human race bad and evil. However, the decision to marry again should not be considered in haste or in desperation. A fair amount of time should be allowed to pass, the wounds to heal, the pain and hurt to lessen before taking the decision. |
| Second marriages require understanding and pre-planning. It is important to assess what went wrong previously and what they want from their new partners. It is very important to find a suitable match, discuss views, personality, choices, future objectives and know everything about the other person before taking the plunge. |
| Children’s opinions and positions also need to be taken into account. Progeny, if any, from previous marriages means that family life cannot be exclusive. It involves the continuation of past relationships in some form. Only when the divorcee and potential new partner agree for this, can the process be allowed to proceed or else it would end up as another mistake. Children must be made to understand and counseled about the new situation and only if they accept, should it be taken further. |
| Although the decision to remarry is an individual one, it is essential that family members be taken into confidence and their support garnered for they are the ones who will come to your rescue should things go away. |
| Last but not the least, it goes without saying that everybody deserves a second chance of happiness, even divorcees and widows. |
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